Finding a New Commons
Nurturing a Community of Care
Mutuality is on my heart and mind this season. “Gather” said my friend Aimee. “Reciprocity” said my friend Karen. I’m taking heed and its been like water to parched earth.
We arrive here seeking new possible avenues of connection.
The COVID-19 pandemic accelerated the demise of third spaces and pushed many of us out of the habit of meeting in the flesh. Costs became prohibitive and some are feeling fearful or jaded in this atmosphere of divisiveness and gun violence. We’ve also been understandably abandoning social media spaces increasingly overrun by bots, disinformation, advertisements, and hatred.
Our community of mindfulness teachers and practitioners was displaced in many ways and I suspect our options for gathering intimately may continue to shrink further.
Most things are owned now by a relatively small group of people. Very little is considered “of the commons” - even things that were once considered basic needs. In virtual as well as physical spaces, we might have to pay for the luxury of relative safety and freedom from harassment. Yet, isolation and hyper-individualism combined with certain limitations (and expectations) around expenses and payment make this a challenge.
As a psychologist, I understand we all need to feel a certain amount of trust to allow ourselves to be vulnerable. The degree to which we can be vulnerable also determines the depth of our intimacy in relationships. But, it’s quite difficult for most of us to dare to be vulnerable when there is a lack of trust or care. We need room to be at ease as we practice relating together, to make mistakes and to forgive. It’s big leap to span the chasm of harm to forgiveness when there is little to no possibility of acknowledgement or repair.
I believe this is what this time is calling for - gathering courageously and intimately with mutuality and reciprocity.
What will become our new commons which we will tend together, where we can create a culture of caring, gather intimately, practice, share news, avail of opportunities and celebrate events? Where might we come together to skillfully metabolize our pain and loss, nurture and rejoice in what is still joyful, and support each other through what is emerging?
What might become our new town square? And how will we let people know when and where to meet?
This is my wondering about this space.
With Care,